just another dead tread

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 23:41:14 GMT

i used to be a much better person
i used to be nice
i used to fall for girls all the time and get my heartbroken
i used to love them with my heartbroken and still be their friend
i used to be confident that even though they would not have me that i would be good for them
i used to be good
i dont know what happened
i guess life happened
ive changed a lot
too bad people dont come with factory reset buttons
i think i was only apealing during my transition from nice guy to asshole
i was not apealing as a nice guy and im not apealing now but inbetween i fell into some strange hole where women are actually attracted to you
weird right?

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 20:03:23 GMT

i got a new computer arent you all excited its amazing
its so fast and shinny
its my new child

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 18:21:25 GMT

i just saw a sign in the art wing that says
"friends dont let friends become performing art majors"
i thought it was funny so i am sharing
now off to entertain myself till its time to cut ethics
lol cut ethics
lol

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 18:19:33 GMT

i dont update much anymore i know
so ive made some mistakes and ive made my situation worse
i dont know if i can fix things but i continue to hold out hope
hope what a foolish childish idea i cling to in these times
i used to be hard and cold strong and reliant
what have i become?
and how much further am i willing to go to get what i want?
and i think the answer is that there is no limit
i would do anything
i will do everything
with or without help
roses chocolates
razor blades and fire
these are a few of my favorite things
anyway more to come later
public?
i dont know why but it is

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 10:31:23 GMT

I think that what I need to do with my life is start saying what Im thinking.
I dont really do that. I tend to bite my tongue because if you have nothing nice to say... well you know the rest.
I think its going to get me in a lot of drama/fights/arguments but I dont think it matters I dont really have any thing to lose and I havent been very happy lately so maybe it will make life happier.
I am not sleeping again.... which should be easy to guess based on the time.
I am house sitting for my mother.
I leave for florida on monday and I get back on thursday.
I do very much need some time off from the theatre well not the theatre but the generic stress revolving around the theatre (people)
the sun is coming up im going to go sit outside for a while

lol like i could stop myself

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 14:40:31 GMT

SCORPIO (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): Widely regarded as a top military historian, Martin van Creveld has written books that have been influential in shaping modern theories of warfare. The U.S. Army makes his work required reading for its officers. That's why it was so remarkable when he described America's invasion of Iraq in 2003 as "the most foolish war since Emperor Augustus in 9 B.C. sent his legions into Germany and lost them." I urge you to regularly imitate Creveld's example in 2006, Scorpio: Speak out in dramatic fashion against the follies that your expertise gives you the right to critique. Drawing on your special experience and knowledge, make rigorous evaluations of the authorities and institutions whose decisions affect your life.

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 21:31:42 GMT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Accommodation	\|\|	10%
Interdependence	\|\|	10%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|	16%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	64%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 18:22:48 GMT

You are a
Social Liberal
(76% permissive)

and an...
Economic Conservative
(61% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Libertarian

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 01:14:32 GMT

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 04:08:30 GMT

doom dooom doooooom dooooooom doooooooom
the end

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 19:39:00 GMT

dentist round 2
valuim my friend

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:51:25 GMT

so i survived the dentist via valium which made me very sleepy the dentist thought i was funny i think i was smiling or something the whole time and i kept falling asleep they had to keep telling me to open my mouth
what i learned is valium is my friend

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 16:09:40 GMT

im going back to ri till wed give me a call if you wanna hang out

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 15:40:50 GMT

You Are 29 Years Old

29

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Sat, 28 May 2005 01:17:05 GMT

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

Sun, 22 May 2005 13:16:00 GMT

do you ever wish you could change someone's first impression of you?
i've been getting a lot of mixed feelings about a lot of stuff recently and a lot of people wanting a variety of different things from me most of which i am not inclined to provide
sometimes i wish i could understand how other people think because sometimes somedays the way i think makes it incredibly hard to even try to get out of bed no less do something with my life
and i am remembering now how in high school i used to think "i want you to want me" now i find myself saying "i only know when they want me"
i used to be ignored tollerated just flying under the radar no one knowing i existed and now i feel that people are forced to egnknowlege my existance on a regular basis and i just want to be invisible again
and i find this longing strange and ubsurd
i just wish i was better at this thing we call life
i just miss having problems so simple that i could voice them without worry of offending or without actually being the bad guy
which by the way i am
i feel like my life is due for renovation
but i guess that happens every 2 to 3 years i go through an angsty crisis where i throw everything out and start again
maybe ill make it through another year before i do
maybe i wont
i think more than anything i miss my ignorance and the ignoarance of those around me
nothing is quite as terribly as knowing

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 04:04:32 GMT

sorry about logging ip addresses my settings all reset for some reason?
i fixed it

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 03:42:04 GMT

Post anything that you want (in comments), and post it anonymously. Anything. . .a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love. . .anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then put this in your livejournal to see what your friends have to say.

i have screened anonymous comments because even if you leave me a secret i might now want everyone to read it and neither may you

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 23:39:57 GMT

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 03:00:43 GMT

this is a general anouncement
my journal is locked
this entry is not
if you want to read my journal tell me and add me
i will add you back and you will be able to read this
if you delete me from your friends i will delete you
nothing personal but if you dont trust me to read your locked entries than i dont trust you
this is a universal policy with no exceptions
sorry
thats life

Fri, 08 Aug 2003 14:13:41 GMT

read this song i mean really read it

KMFDM - "DOGMA"

ALL WE WANT IS A HEADRUSH
ALL WE WANT IS TO GET OUT OF OUR SKIN FOR A WHILE
WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
ANYTHING WE WANT ANYWAY...
WE USED TO HATE PEOPLE
NOW WE JUST MAKE FUN OF THEM
IT'S MORE EFFECTIVE THAT WAY
WE DON'T LIVE
WE JUST SCRATCH ON DAY TO DAY
WITH NOTHING BUT MATCHBOOKS AND SARCASM IN OUR POCKETS
AND ALL WE ARE WAITING FOR IS FOR SOMETHING WORTH WAITING FOR
LET'S ADMIT AMERICA GETS THE CELEBRITIES WE DESERVE
LET'S STOP SAYING "DON'T QUOTE ME" BECAUSE IF NO ONE QUOTES YOU
YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T SAID A THING WORTH SAYING
WE NEED SOMETHING TO KILL THE PAIN OF ALL THAT NOTHING INSIDE
WE ALL JUST WANT TO DIE A LITTLE BIT
WE FEAR THAT POP-CULTURE IS THE ONLY CULTURE WE'RE EVER GOING TO HAVE
WE WANT TO STOP READING MAGAZINES
STOP WATCHING TV
STOP CARING ABOUT HOLLYWOOD
BUT WE'RE ADDICTED TO THE THINGS WE HATE
WE DON'T RUN WASHINGTON AND NO ONE REALLY DOES
ASK NOT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY
ASK WHAT YOUR COUNTRY DID TO YOU
THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE STILL ALIVE IS BECAUSE SOMEONE
HAS DECIDED TO LET YOU LIVE
WE OWE SO MUCH MONEY WE'RE NOT BROKE WE'RE BROKEN
WE'RE SO POOR WE CAN'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT
YOU WANT TO BE FAMOUS AND RICH AND HAPPY
BUT YOU'RE TERRIFIED YOU HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER THIS WORLD
THING TO SAY AND NO WAY TO SAY IT
BUT YOU CAN SAY IT IN THREE LANGUAGES
YOU ARE MORE THAN THE SUM OF WHAT YOU CONSUME
DESIRE IS NOT AN OCCUPATION
YOU ARE ULTIMATELY THRILLED AND DESPERATE
SKYHIGH AND FUCKED
LET'S STOP PRAYING FOR SOMEONE TO SAVE US AND START SAVING OURSELVES
LET'S STOP THIS AND START OVER
LET'S GO OUT-LET'S KEEP GOING
THIS IS YOUR LIFE-THIS IS YOUR FUCKING LIFE
WE NEED SOMETHING TO KILL THE PAIN OF ALL THAT NOTHING INSIDE
QUIT WHINING YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG BECAUSE FRANKLY
YOU HAVEN'T DONE MUCH OF ANYTHING
SOMEONE'S WRITING DOWN YOUR MISTAKES
SOMEONE'S DOCUMENTING YOUR DOWNFALL

Thu, 03 Jul 2003 12:49:32 GMT

this journal will once again be locked because my mother insists on reading my journals
i dont know how she finds out about them but if i find out i will hunt down and destroy the source
comment to be added

Fri, 16 May 2003 06:16:00 GMT

im not going to write here again
ill let lj delete this acount itself
leave me a comment if you want they will still get emailed to me

goodbye

Tue, 13 May 2003 20:18:08 GMT

this entry will wind up in more than one place and will be the same in each to save you time dont read it twice
...
...
im leaving rhode island
im leaving almost everyone i know
i dont expect that i will ever come back
with all the momories i have of this place im not sure i will ever want to come back
and i know not everyone here has done things to me
and im sorry if i am leaving behind people that want to be my friend
and im sorry if i didnt try
and im sorry if you waited too long
and im sorry if you think this is about you because it isnt most of this i am writing to someone who wont read this
i am about to cry
memories are better left behind
some people have been good to me and i want to thank them
some people have been horrid to me and i wish they wanted me to forgive them because i would but they dont
but what i came here to say is goodbye give any one that wants it closure not that i think that will work
today is tuesday
i leave my dorm on friday the 16th
i leave ri on sunday but you wont be able to reach me after friday
i dont think ne one really wants to see me one last time
the only people that truely care about me are coming with me
so....
this is goodbye to everyone here
im sorry for anything that has happened between us and i hope you can put them in the past because i am
.
.
.
goodbye rhode island its been a long time and i think its time we part
goodbye

Fri, 21 Mar 2003 05:32:46 GMT

im sorry i am here cause i have something to say and i really want feedback
again this entry is public so please dont leave personal information in your comments
i am pro-war
i believe war is often the only solution to a problem
i am certain that nothing is going to get sadam out of power but our bombs
i dont understand why everone is against war
i would really love to understand
if you dont have anything intelegent to say than dont
i am an aethist i do not therefore bind myself to the morals which protrude from religions
i dont feel that killing is wrong if it is justified
i am not here to debate morals
i would like some intelectual feedback as to why we shouldnt go to war
thanks everyone for reading this